Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener
Celebrate your partying excellence with this award-winning bottle opener.
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Watch video for: Gold Medal Bottle Opener
Overview
You're awesome, and you know it. So celebrate your winning personality with our Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener.
Not only is it 100% effective at removing bottle tops, but it's also 100% effective at broadcasting your awesomeness.
Featuring an official-looking 31" tri-colored ribbon and a 2.25" diameter gold-toned medal, this bottle opener howls, "I'm the slum-lord of this here party!"
Own your next party with the Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener. Made from zinc.
Features & specs
- Dimensions (medal): 2.25" diameter x 0.1875" thick
- Ribbon length: 31"
- Hand wash only
- Not actually made of gold. Duh.
- Made from zinc.
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Announce that you're a winner with every beer opened
Some people get medals for running faster than anybody else on the planet. We think that's great. It's a legitimate accomplishment. However, in today's world, we toss around trophies for "participation", "effort", and simply being present for all team activities. We don't think that's great. We think that's weak.
The Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener is designed for people who don't apologize for partying. They don't "participate" in the party. They are the party. It's designed for people who live, breathe, and eat having a good time.
These champions deserve to be celebrated with a medal around their neck that not only screams, "I'm friggin' awesome", but also opens your next beer.
Publicize your awesomeness with the Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener.
Never again waste time hunting for your bottle opener!
If your bottle opener is slung around your neck, there's a mighty slim chance that you'll lose it. This is the awesome side effect of a bottle opener that moonlights as an award. You're welcome.
Sling your bottle opener around your neck and you'll never have to wait to open your beer.
When partying becomes an Olympic sport, you'll be ready
Celebrating life's achievements (big and small) is best done with trophies, monuments, statues, and medals (our favorite). They're portable, they're shiny, and they can be used as an improvised nunchuk should things get a bit spicy.
Commemorate your lifetime achievement in drinking excellence with the Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener.
Finally, a bit of recogntion for all of your hard partying
With the Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener, appreciation for your toil in the name of partying will never again go unrecognized.
The fact that this symbol of certification also doubles as a bottle opener makes it more than just an endorsement of your hard work. It provides a functional excuse for displaying your achievement 24/7.
There are many forms of excellence. Celebrate partying excellence with the Winner Gold Medal Bottle Opener.
Frequently Asked Questions
Question: So... you're celebrating excessive drinking?
Answer: We'll answer your question with another question. When Prince sang, "Party like it's 1999", do you honestly think he meant an all-night Scrabble-fest?
Question: Is it made of real gold?
Answer: No.
Question: Is there a silver or bronze version for less skilled partygoers?
Answer: Never! We do not honor mediocrity at Vat19.
Question: Will my brother/boyfriend/husband/acquaintance enjoy this item?
Answer: You bet your sweet freedom they will.
Question: Is it acceptable to wear several at one time?
Answer: Absolutely.
Where can I buy this awesomeness?
Burning Questions: You Ask, We Answer
Want to ask your own Burning Question?
This product is no longer available for purchase directly from Vat19. Therefore, we are no longer accepting new burning questions at this time. Sorry!
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